Is fitting in a necessity? Does looking the part make a difference?
Hey Friends! I've got some down time and I'm in a different time zone, so I'm not ready to sleep, even though I need to be asleep. Traveling for the 8-5er.
So, before my trip to Telluride earlier this summer, and frequently since then, I've had this worry: in my ideal whole life, the person I want to be when I grow up, do I "look the part" ? Will I ever fit in with the fitness industry folks?
Many of us have heard the phrase "you don't dress for the job you have, you dress for the job you want." What does that mean for me? I'm not sure that I necessarily look the part for a life helping others find their healthiest and most fit selves. Hell, I'm still looking for my healthiest and most fit self! But does my pursuit of that lifestyle and desire to help others find the same require a certain look or uniform? Do I need to look like a Photoshopped motivational poster? Should some hard core training and uber restrictive diet be in my future? Am I only good enough if I LOOK the PART?
Frankly, in my eyes, the answer SHOULD be a resounding NO. And yet, I struggle with self image every day. I don't wear shorts in public. I change clothes 5 times before going out. I want to believe all of the motivational stories that I find so inspiring on the Internet. I AM good enough. I don't have to look like a super model to be an amazing and beautiful person on the inside - and out. These things I know logically. I do. I recite them to friends when they have concerns about their weight or fitness regimen. I tell myself daily.
But what you KNOW and what you FEEL can be very different. And every day is different. Many of you know what I mean. Fat days. Skinny days.
And that leads me to ask, how can I help people accept who they are if I struggle? And you know what? I think that's what will make me great. Not because misery loves company, but because I know how they feel and continue to work. I have a very different idea of what health and fitness LOOKS like than the main stream media. Most of the people I know don't want to be a size 0 wearing tiny shorts and a sports bra to run on the beach. We want to be able to mow our lawns, help our family members move (wait, does anyone WANT to do that?! ;) ), do some demo work, crush some personal records in the gym, or finally finish that 10k/half marathon/ full marathon. We just want to live our lives without being winded, without worry of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, and other health risks associated with poor diet and exercise habits. We want to be happy and healthy for our kids, grand kids... we want to LIVE LIFE on OUR TERMS.
And that, my friends, is what I'm good at.
There is no uniform for success. Only drive and ambition and the desire to succeed. What makes you feel the meaning of your life? How can you capture that every day? For me it's spending time with like minded folks, being active, pushing myself physically, and feeling fit, strong and happy. It's my stress relief. It's what makes my crummy body image issues fade. I don't have a super model body, but I can put in the work, go all day, sweat like a pig and feel strong - AMAZING- afterwards.
And why do I even feel the need to compare myself to super models? We don't live the same life. We don't share the same genetics. And our self worth shouldn't be tied to what an industry (a fickle one at that) deems beautiful. I'm not less intelligent at my current weight that I was 20 lbs lighter. I'm not a better wife, mother or friend when I fit into a size 4 dress. Mirrors and scales have no place on my ladder of success.
Now, don't get me wrong - there is some extra weight/fat that I would be happy to see go permanently. And as my habits continue to reflect the life I want, I'll continue to see progress in those areas. But I believe that my love for fitness as a life style and not a single event is what will make me great. Not how I look in a two-piece or whether or not I have a six pack. My love for motivating people and helping them feel strong and capable is what lifts me up. And UP is where I want to be.
I am ever thankful for opportunities that have been given to me, for the support of family and friends. I'm taking steps to be who I want to be (not that I'm ready to grow up yet, or anything). There's a lot to do, but one step at a time!
With a big birthday coming this year, I finally feel like I am walking the path that is the best version of me. And regardless of fame or fortune, isn't that what we are all looking for?
I'm ready to be a lighthouse.
"I am a lighthouse. I must care for myself, clean my lenses and glass, maintain a strong structure and light the fire within first, in order to lead others safely to harbor or happiness." - jlm 6/16/15
So, what does it come down to when I wonder if I look the part or not? It's my show, I'm the director, casting agent and star performer. I'm the only critic that matters. I'm the show and the encore. I'm uniquely me and can never be someone else. And my self worth isn't tied up in my physical appearance.
Now it's time to hit the sack so I can get up and get my run and workout in before a long conference day, and a sweet hike afterwards at Great Falls National Park.
More soon, friends!
<3 Jen
