I AM... Me!

Each day I contemplate my blogging challenge for 2020 - "I AM." Each day the language that follows it changes. My mood changes, my energy ebbs and flows, my focus and my mantras change. But here's what remains constant...

I AM - in so many ways - uniquely and spectacularly, ME.



My 2020 challenge comes from the following:

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.”

― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

Not many of us have read much of Plath's work (or maybe you have - I'd love to hear more!), but this story is not all sunshine and rainbows. It's a story of mental health issues, relationships gone wrong, fear, shame, and tragedy. And most of all, hidden somewhere in the chaos ... hope.  At the funeral of a friend who died by suicide, she whispers the above line.  Deep in her heart, she knows who she is - the words I am, I am, I am beat like her heart. But no one else seems to know her (by her own choice). She is the product of her life experiences, and there's no making it all go away.

Sheesh. That's depressing, isn't it?  No.  And I'll tell you why...

We are all shaped by our experiences and similarly SHAPE OUR REACTIONS to those experiences. We have choices, even though sometimes it feels like we don't. We can choose hope over despair, love over hate, acceptance over judgment, and tenacity instead of quitting. We can ask for help instead of going it alone, we can find joy and gratitude instead of misery and resentment.

No matter what I'm facing, the time of my life, my job, where I live, who I love, I am ME. Unique and wonderful, deserving of love and respect, capable of so much, imperfect and wonderful in my own way.

And sometimes that's hard to remember.  Sometimes we have to step back, sit still, and breathe to get back to it. Sometimes we have to talk to someone else, maybe a friend, family member or professional. Sometimes we have to whisper in time with our heart beat, "I am, I am, I am."

It's easy to judge ourselves against others, it's part of society! Class rank, titles at work, stats posted at the gym (splat points?!), race results, salaries, the size of your house, keeping up with the damn Joneses. But does any of that truly serve you?

I regurgitate the old quote by Theodore Roosevelt "Comparison is the thief of Joy." often - which, coming from a fiercely competitive person (especially in my school days), feels counter intuitive. But as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that comparing myself to others often leads to shame, resentment, or excessive pride - none of which serve me long term. Even comparing myself to myself of the past is tricky business. So much is different and beyond my control. Does comparison drive me to be my best, or use shame and guilt to push me forward in an endeavor that doesn't bring me joy or kills the joy I once had?

Having goals, setting benchmarks, and working towards personal bests are all wonderful endeavors! But these tools, for me, need to be independent of comparison, shame and guilt. Accepting myself, loving myself where I am, for who I am is so much more important.

Y'all. I want to be good at what I do. I want to be fit. I want to be stronger. I want to love and be loved. But most of all... I want to be ME.

I hope that today, and every day, you can connect with all the ways that you are uniquely YOU.

Just a few more days in my 31 Days of The Daily Minute - you can check them out HERE.

Until next time...

Ciao for now!

<3 Jen

I AM ... Hopeful!

The first of my 2020 "I AM" blogs, gang!

I AM ... Hopeful!

It's a wonderful season to find hope. Hope for the future, for success, for will power (at least until Girl Scout Cookies come out next month!), for peace, for safety.

The New Year is a magical time. It's an automatic reset button for life as we know it. I read an article that sited a study claiming that resolutions made at the new year were 40% MORE successful that resolutions set at any other time of the year. Perhaps because of the push to make changes, perhaps because of lots of accountability and support. Whatever the reason, it just FEELS like a great time to hope that we can be our best selves.

That hope was something that had me thinking during my morning walk with the pups. I noticed a city crew taking down yet another Ash tree and I was really sad. It feels like the movie "Fern Gully" here in my 'hood - all the giant beautiful trees are being cut down. But then I thought back to last spring when the tree removal started and also to all the new trees planted in their places. In just a few years those trees will grow and start to provide shade, and I'll get to see their leaves turn in the fall.

Maybe taking the trees down in the first place isn't ideal (though I understand why they are coming down - damn Ash Bore Beatles!), but focusing on the negative isn't going to put those trees back or make me feel better about the stumps left.  No, recognizing the silver lining - the HOPE - that the trees they plant will soon mature and be as beautiful, provide fresh air, and maybe even have some fragrant spring blossoms gave me the boost I needed today.

Ya know what else I'm hopeful for?

I'm hopeful that my good health will continue, with the help of some solid good habits. I'm making time for regular exercise - the easy/fun kind (walking with my pups 2x per day) and the hard/sweaty kind (getting after it in the gym). I'm also fueling my body and being mindful of my Macros. And, honestly, I think working from home has made a big difference in my health - I just come in contact with fewer "sickies".

I'm hopeful that with more sunlight each day, I'll continue to feel good and avoid the dreaded "SAD" that often creeps up on me. We are definitely over the hump (thank you winter solstice!), and I am looking forward to more and more daylight. Truly I am a sunshine girl - it doesn't have to be warm (I wouldn't complain!), but I do love my sun!

Goodness, it feels great to have lots more examples to share, but for now, you get the point.

What are YOU hopeful for today?  My 31 Days of the #Daily Minute (find the videos on YouTube, like, subscribe and follow along!) day 3 today talked about finding three things that bring you hope. What are your three things?  Gosh, I have so many more than three! I HOPE that's the case for you, too!

Let's hear it, gang... hit me up in the comments!
Find me on the socials:  Bookface   Twittersphere   MeTube

We are all made up of so many amazing traits, feelings and talents - I'm excited to share the "I AM" journey with you all!  I'd love to hear more about your "I AM" moments - let's hear about them in the comments!

I am HOPEFUL that you'll have an amazing day, and I'll catch you later. ;)

Ciao for now!
<3 Jen

2019 Wrap Up - One Word Challenge

Happy New Year, Friends!

I can't believe it, but it's true - today is January 1, 2020. Where did 2019 go? Where ever it went, it seemed to be in a damned hurry!

We enjoyed a very chill night at home with friends and family, some pizza and snacks, a game of dominoes and a whole lot of snark (is anyone surprised?). A wonderful way to ring in the new year, I'd say!

Also, it feels good to wrap up a project and I'm excited to put together a project in the shop that will help me remember my 2019 One Work Challenge (I'll get to that a little later...).

As you all know, each month I chose a word that represented where I was that month in my life and business. It had to be a single word, a verb, and the word often took on multiple meanings and purposes.  At first, I thought it would be easy, that coming up with a monthly word to represent all that was happening (or needed to happen) would be a breeze.

Uh, think again Jen.

How do you describe the fear of quitting your full time job, while simultaneously looking forward to the opportunity to work with new folks, in new cities, doing new things? How do you juggle family, friends and a new travel schedule with your love for working with clients in the fitness industry? How do you describe with one word your renewed focus on self care, health and wellness?

Uh...

Exactly. And even though I didn't post a blog entry weekly, I did use my One Word each month in hash tags and posts on my other social media handles, and truly worked that word into my daily moving meditation (read: walks with the pups). I tried to use each word to guide my responses to situations I encountered and help me focus my efforts when I got distracted.

I also made some physical projects to really drive home a few of the words - nail/string art, vision boards, and even homemade t-shirts. I have a really fun project planned for the end, but will need a little help from the hubster and the CNC!

2019 One Word Challenge Words:
Leap, Engage, March, Bloom, Tend, Spark, Focus, Appreciate, Designate, Grind, Celebrate and Believe.

Looking back, all these words have one thing in common: PURPOSE.

Acting with purpose, whether it's to LEAP or to FOCUS, CELEBRATE or BELIEVE, they all point back to living and working with PURPOSE.

Purpose doesn't mean that everything went according to plan, or that I have it all figured out. It means that whatever I was doing, it wasn't by accident. Even if something happened accidentally, my reaction to it was more purposeful this year - less of a knee jerk or panic, and more of a "ok, so now what's the next step?" reaction. Thinking long term and weighing the impact of my decisions was my priority. And, I think it's made all the difference. I'm feeling more grounded, have noticeable less stress, and I feel strong relationships forming in my life.

If I had to choose a word to represent the whole year, looking back, it would be purpose. (I feel a little like Steve Martin in The Jerk, wondering what my 'special purpose' was! HA!)

So, here's a fun way to wrap 2019's words:

I'm going to have it carved into a wood plaque with the company logo and hang it in the office. That way I can always look back and remember some of the excitement, nerves, and hope that helped to shape my purpose in 2019. I've got a long way to go, but boys and girls - I'm on my way!

2020's Blogging Challenge will be similar, but with a little twist:  "I Am ....."

What am I? Well, you'll just have to stay tuned to see! Also watch for my YouTube Challenge in January: 31 Days of The Daily Minute. Each day I'll share a topic or reminder and I promise to keep the topic to about a minute! January 1's is already up! Check out my channel and don't forget to "like" and subscribe! There will be much more coming! 

I hope that all of you had a wonderful 2019, but are looking ahead at 2020 with a renewed sense of passion and purpose! 

I look forward to sharing a heap more with y'all this year - let's get after it!

Ciao for now!

<3 Jen