I AM ... PUBLISHED

Hey friends,

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood - not just because it's almost 60 degrees and sunny outside (which makes be VERY happy... especially since this week last year I was scooping on to snow piles that were almost five feet high!), but also because I can cross one of my BIG FIVE off the 2020 list...

Patrol Notes has been submitted for Publishing! 

The Ebook is up for presale/preorders and will be released on Friday March 13th. The Paperback is still in the "review" stage of publishing and I'll share just as soon as it's available!

So, this book isn't that big of a deal, really. It's a collection of things I've written over a long time, an idea that I had and some derpy drawings that I scratched out. But it feels like a big deal. Let me tell you about why...

I've come to realize as an adult that my coping mechanism throughout life has been procrastination and quitting.

If you don't finish, you can't fail. 

I was (let's be honest - AM) terrified of being judged and found wanting. I'm a people pleaser to the core and the thought that someone won't enjoy what I write, will think the drawings are terrible, will say that anyone could have done it, and wonder "what took you so long, it's not like it was hard" paralyzed me for years.

I recognize (in hindsight) that I could have done this book years ago. I had the material. I had the means. I had the time. But what I didn't have was the confidence or the "zero fucks" attitude. 

Why, for the love of Pete, do I shrink back from hard things, or big projects, or procrastinate on my dreams and goals? 

Because I can't be judged a failure if I don't start. 

At least not by other people - I have absolutely judged myself a failure for not starting So. Many. Things.

So this is me telling you - BE FUCKING BRAVE. Do it despite the judgement you fear. Do it because failing isn't the worst thing. Regret is. 

I don't want to look back and wonder why I didn't do the things that I KNEW I was capable of, but was too paralyzed by fear of judgement to actually do. Especially not things that are simple, and bring joy, and are so subjected that someone somewhere is bound to say "I don't get it" or "I didn't like it." But damn it - someone might say, "that was funny" or "your dogs are adorable" or "thank you for putting this out in the world, I think I'm going to write a book, too."

There are so many other things I want to do and be and try and fail at - the list is long. And I just might be to a place when I'm ready (and kind of looking forward) to fail. Even failing feels like an accomplishment now.  

So, here's to trying some new stuff, and SUCKING at it. Still counts. No regrets, just lessons.

Watch for more information about the book (and editions to come)... I'll be sure to update the blog and my social media pages.

Until then...

Ciao for now!

<3 Jen