"Be Fearless in What Sets Your Soul on Fire."

Greetings, friends!

I can't believe it's been over a year since I sat down and opened this page. I've no excuses for my hiatus, I've no good reasons. But I can tell you with all certainty that I've missed it, that I'm excited to be focused anew, and that I'm looking forward to sharing with all of you.

Is it coincidental that I'm starting this off in 2018, New Year's Day?  Well, no. I'm not really about the "new year, new me" that so many embrace this time of year, but I do happen to believe that every day is an opportunity to make new choices and be the best version of yourself. Today is as good a day as any!

I've been playing tug-of-war in my brain with what I'm meant to do in this lifetime, where I'm meant to be, how I'm to get there, and who I'm taking along with me. (The fact that the Powerball is over $400 Million may play a small part in my day dreaming!) And, well, let's face it... I'm not getting any younger. Having kids who are all but out of the house, and grandgirds (grand daughters) to boot makes you stop and think about how you spend your time. When it's just me, the hubster and our puppa - what will occupy my time? Will I be happy? Successful? Content?

I'm the only one responsible for my happiness. And I've decided that it's time to do what I love. It's time to make the things that light me up a permanent part of my daily routine.

Writing. Writing has always lit me up. Sure, sometimes it's newsletters for my employer, jokes and handwritten notes to friends and loved ones, a silly semi-comic book style story about my dogs... whatever it is, I enjoy the process of it. I enjoy the discipline of it, the revisions, seeing things through new eyes, the art of it - painting a picture in my mind that I can share, but mostly I love that it's mine. It's selfishly, wonderfully mine. An exercise for my mind, relaxation for my soul, humor for my heart, and break for my body.

You know what else really gets me going? EATING. I love to eat. I love colorful dishes presented beautifully (you'd know this if you follow me on Instagram). Sometimes it's an easy meal I've prepared, or something that I've ordered at a restaurant - but the way food LOOKS is sometimes as great as how it tastes.  I love to try new and exotic foods. Not like bugs or animal feet or anything, but combinations of spices and seasonings, new veggies and fruits that aren't in my weekly grocery basket, and new combinations of the foods I already know that I love.

So - what am I getting at? I'm going to combine 2 of the things that light me up as a weekly practice.

A couple years ago, a friend gave me a cook book as a gift: "Eat, Drink, Shine: Inspiration From Our Kitchen" by the Blissful Sisters, Jennifer, Jessica and Jill Emich. This is a beautifully illustrated cookbook that is both gluten-free and Paleo-friendly.  It's been sitting on my counter, hiding behind dishes drying on the mat, between the bread maker and the Blendtec. Well, it's time to get it out!

I am not following any special diet, nor am I restricting foods that I can eat. What I am interested in is approaching food with a different perspective, broadening my horizons to more whole foods and recipes that require more time and care. 

I want to enjoy shopping for the items in the recipes separate from my weekly family grocery trip. I'll share where I find the ingredients and how a trip to the grocer doesn't have to be hurried and stressful, but an errand of self love and care.

I want to share how I prep food in my home. We live in modest home, without all the ooh la la granite, stainless and fancy kitchen gadgets. We live here, we eat here, we laugh, and make messes, and scratch the wood finish on the dining table  (I call it 'character'!). But it's real.

I want to share visually and through words - how it looks in process and on my plate. I want to tell you how it reheats (you know that the hubster won't eat most of these recipes - he's quite finicky)  because I love leftovers! I want to share with you the approximate cost per meal/per person, so you can see that many of these recipes are practical, delicious and can be part of your weekly menu.

I'm going to combine my love for writing and food to take myself through the cookbook, one recipe each week. 

(BTW - Full disclosure, I'm not affiliated in anyway with the Blissful Sisters, their shop in Colorado or their publisher. I'm not being paid, reimbursed or in any way compensated for these entries. It truly is for me, an exercise in self love.)

This exercise will help to keep me focused on practicing my writing, sticking to deadlines, and staying true to my mantra that "Food is fuel, but that doesn't mean it has to taste like crap!"  Ha!

I hope you will join me each week to see what's cookin' (I'm so punny!) and share with me your thoughts on the recipes, life, whatever! I'd love this to be a conversation among friends, and conversations are best when they go both ways!

I'm off to bed soon, but wanted to get this out - mostly so that I can't chicken out! Stay warm, stay happy, but most of all...

"Be Fearless in the Pursuit of What Sets Your Soul on Fire!"

- unknown

All my best,
Jen

So, What are You Training For?

What is happening today?!  I have a question to ask you...  What are you training for?

It's a legit question! You could be following a running program for the next big race. Maybe you are cycling to complete the Corporate Cycling Challenge here in Omaha. It's possible you are swimming so you can conquer your first open water swim triathlon. Perhaps you are lifting to compete in a strength challenge. 

But for me, at 40 years young with bad knees and a full schedule the most accurate answer I can come up with is...

"I'm training for life."

I've done the races - runs, bike rides, triathlon. I've played in volleyball tournaments and leagues. While I'm still a competitive person, I've come to realize that sports, medals and trophies aren't the only reason to train.

I'm not here to impress you or anyone else. What I am here to do is live the healthiest life I can. I want to feel strong and empowered in my daily life. I want to be a positive example to my kids and the folks I interact with every day. I want to show that YES YOU CAN if you focus and have discipline - no matter what your goals are. It's important to me that I enjoy all that I can everyday, no matter where I am: having the strength and stamina to enjoy hikes in the mountains, bike rides down volcanoes, a full day of swimming and paddling in the ocean, sand volleyball, or volunteer to carry a standard and walk 18 Holes of golf as a volunteer, to help my kids when it's time to move all their belongings down a steep set of stairs, load a truck, and then unload and carry up 2 flights of stairs, or carrying a heavy suitcase up the stairs from the subway (Side note: That wasn't super enjoyable, but I was glad I could do it!). 

I want functional strength. What is that, you ask?

Functional strength is the strength that gets us through life and daily survival.

But wait - I don't want to GET THROUGH my life, or merely survive! It is my intention to be active as long as this body allows me to be, and I'm going to do all that I can to live up to that intention! My knees are a challenge for me - but I find ways to keep moving. I listen to my body and push to my edge, but not passed it. (Maybe someday I'll get new ones that bend like they should!) I want to continue to take on new challenges, explore new places, and experience all that I can. That's what functional strength means to me.

Another major component to my training is nutrition. 

Nutrition. Yup. Notice I didn't refer to it as DIET. While DIET is what we eat, many look at it as a temporary state, something you do to punish yourself for bad food choices or a few extra pounds gained. I'm switching the script and calling it Nutrition. How should I nourish my body, fuel it to successfully train for this epic sport called LIFE?

Tough question. I'm finding that pinning down the "right" answer is a challenge, and very different depending on what you read and who wrote it!

Here's what I know: When I keep it simple, whole foods, nix the artificial stuff, and drink plenty of water, I feel awesome. I sleep better, my digestion is better, I'm less irritable, and getting through my workouts feels easier.  I'm not a proponent of any particular fad-type diet or anything that's uber restrictive - I'm not all Paleo, or Vegan, or gluten free ... I'm working on the KISS Plan. KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID! :D  

I wish that we all could have learned early in life that diet and exercise and taking care of our bodies was our best bet for staying healthy.  How has this been missing from our education? Why is "fixing our diet" an after thought?  Why is diet and exercise prescribed AFTER the diagnosis? I may never understand the reasons for the way health, nutrition and fitness education has evolved (or disappeared, as it were). I feel strongly that we all  need to take a more active role in our well being through strength training and nutrition. After all, there is no finish line. This sport lasts for a looooooooooooooooonnnnggggg time (if we're lucky).

So lace up, get warmed up, and let's get after it - DAILY. 

Until Next Time,
<3 Jen

More Time BEING and less time DOING...

Hello Friends,

Some of you may have seen this video circulating around the interwebs. It talks about how as women (hell, all people, really) we focus on what we've gotten done, our resume of accomplishments, our list covered in red check marks... what do you have to SHOW for yourself? These women share that they would spend more time enjoying life and living in the moment. They share the mantra, "Spend more time BEING, not DOING."

So, what is a chronic DOER supposed to do? Many of you know: I make lists. I like to schedule everything. If it's important to me, it has a place on my calendar. It's always been about keeping busy, accomplishing, doing... I have FOMO - you know, the Fear of Missing Out. If I don't keep going, doing, working, moving, getting shit done, kicking ass and taking names, that I'll somehow miss out on some amazing opportunity.

With the latest Iteration of Awesome - Jen4.0, I've been busier I could have imagined. Good busy, but some days still feel overwhelming. The "To Do list" continues to push me around. Because, I mean, who wants to build up to the idea of what 'just right' is? I want just right RIGHT NOW! There is work to be done, emails to send, calls to make, social media to update, strategies to learn, workouts to write, research to do. I'm so thankful for a great team, at work and at home, and I'm finding that work feels less like work than all my previous iterations.

But, at what point do I put "BE" on my To Do List?

For a list maker like me, putting "BE" on my to-do list has become a new "DO". Sounds like an oxymoron. Let me explain.

I've made appointments to just "BE":

Yoga. 2 mornings a week where I can reconnect with my intention, feel my breath, listen to my body, and enjoy the company of others without feeling like I have to be the teacher or hostess.

Walks. Returning to daily (and sometimes twice daily) patrols with my furry boys. It's not just good for them, it's quiet time, creative time, and me time. I focus on conversations with them instead of running through my to-do list. I observe the neighborhood, enjoy the sunshine, feel the wind in my hair.

Bedtime. Sometimes I read, other times I've been getting to bed nice and early so I can feel fully rested the next day.

Coming soon - Gardening. I've got the garden prepped and most all the planting done. We've spruced up the back yard so I can spend more time just BEING - listening to the fountain and wind chimes, feeling the breeze, maybe even enjoy a fire pit on cool evenings.

I've been reading a fabulous book that has helped me with some ideas and tips on how to Level Up - but this is just taking my ultimate goals and breaking them down in to manageable quests/tasks. So, if my ultimate goal is to DO LESS and JUST BE MORE, the To DO list above is a great way to start.

Sure, there is more on my list - and I'll never be an idle person. But for me, finding a balance of DO and BE is priority. If you spend your whole life working from one thing to the next, when do you enjoy any of it? The time is now. Do AND be. 

It's maybe not the popular mindset, but it feels good to me. I'm working on making the DO become the BE, and when I get there, I'll know I did it right.

Love what you do, do what you love and JUST BE.

Until next time,
<3 Jen

Time to Reboot!!

Hey Friends!

It's been far too long since I've written - and for that I apologize. Not just to you, but to myself. This is an outlet for me, creatively and as part of my healthy lifestyle. Writing represents part of me that I want to continue to develop and a discipline that I've let slip by as less important.

Clearly, I haven't made it a priority. And that's the key. I will prioritize the things that I deem most important for my health, well-being and happiness. This blog is one of those things! So, in the spirit of technology and with the guidance of my favorite technology geek hubster, it's time to reboot!

The theme of the month of May is "REBOOT."

This month, the management team at the Studio is taking on the "Reboot" theme with a 30 day cleanse. We'll be resetting to the eating habits we know we should follow, cleansing and detoxing our system, and the best part? We'll be doing it together. Supporting  each other with clean recipes, support on tough fasting/cleanse days, and working out together. We'll be flexing our "will power" muscles, for sure!

I'm not much for before and after photos - because, frankly, THERE IS NO AFTER. Healthy eating and exercise is something I plan to do forever. And, while releasing some excess fat, bloating, and reducing inflammation will change the way I look, that's not what this is about. It's about feeling my best, feeling strong, sleeping better, digestive health, and taking control of what I can control. (Though, I will be taking measurements and stepping on the scale to measure progress.)

I hope you will join me in taking time to REBOOT your life. Revisit a habit that you've let slip. Reboot your commitment to eating well. Reboot your commitment to exercising. Reboot your commitment to being present. Reboot your commitment to living the life you love!

Look for weekly updates from me - maybe even some Video Blog action!  

More soon!

Until then,

<3 Jen

Self Love & Self Care - Not just for the Bold & Beautiful (or "Special Occasions")

Hello, friends!

What a beautiful day! Well, inside my head and heart, not outside so much. It's rained, hailed, potential for tornadic action, and a likelihood of snow sometime today. Go home Mother Nature, you're drunk. Seriously.

No, what's beautiful is how seemingly small changes in life - and some great big changes - are shaping and molding my future. 

Today, I had a breakthrough, and I have to thank my pal Angie for it. Let me explain...

I'm a low maintenance girl. I don't spend much time on the latest and greatest baubles, creams and potions. I am who I am and that's all that I am (I'm Popeye the Sailor Man, Toot - Toot! - wait, no.). I have never spent much time thinking about what the difference between self care and pampering was. Do you know the difference? Is there one? Are people who "pamper themselves" wrong, spoiled or entitled? What IS pampering? Do you have to deserve to be pampered? Is there a way to earn it?

I have more projects going than I can keep up with daily, and let's face it, self care has often fallen by the wayside. Why? Because I didn't have time, didn't feel I deserved it, hadn't earned it, couldn't afford it.  But, by not taking care of myself (my WHOLE self) I was adding to stress, aggravation, feelings of inadequacy, and burying my joy.  Which meant that I wouldn't earn it, would never have time, and would continue on with the I'm not important enough for self care mindset. It's a vicious cycle!

All these things have swirled in my mind, and I became judgy. (Me? No!) I felt like those people - the "Pampered" people - didn't really deserve it. That money or fame or a bad sex video leaking to the world was why they got to have the good life of spas, high end product lines named after them, blow outs and buffed fingers, glowing skin and to be envied by all the world. Turns out, I was wrong. (Mark it, and someone tell the hubster I said it.) 

In my opinion, pampering is the name for self care given by those who have yet to find the value in it. 

Wait - how has someone not found the value in self care?   Before we can answer that, what is self care?  

Jen's definition of self care:

Actions that empower you and enhance the quality of your sense of health, fitness, emotional wellness, and overall being. Actions that help you feel amazing and allow you to help others feel amazing.  

So, things like showering, eating right, reading a great book, going for a walk, hugging, and learning how to use power tools all qualify. Other self care items: working out, massage, talking to a counselor or great friend, being part of a book club, volunteering. Others? Facials, pedicures, chiropractic care, learning to and practicing cooking and taking time to buy clothes that when you're wearing them make you feel amazing.

Think about this: all these things can be viewed as rewards. Things you have to earn. But, we don't think twice about rewarding ourselves with things that potentially negatively impact our sense of wellness (health).  Great job on that project - eat some sugar laden treats.  Hard day at work? Drink some alcohol.  Need time off? Plop down in front of the TV for hours on end.  Do any of those things improve who you are or how you feel?  

And here's what hit me... You don't have to EARN the right to be happy and healthy. You shouldn't have to wait to use the good china. Go ahead and use the fancy soaps. Get out the good towels. I work hard, do my best to take care of my family, friends and coworkers. I am, every day, deserving of self love and self care.

Today - I enjoyed a wonderful facial. 60 minutes of Oh.Emm.Gee amazing from Angie Ruh at Shine. 

Not only does it feel amaze-balls (thanks Ruh!) - but I actually relaxed. I let go. It was a form of meditation, I suppose. I didn't allow myself to think of work stuff, or how much I had to do today, or how sleepy I was after my early workouts. I just took deep breaths and enjoyed the smell of the lotions, the feeling of the warm blankets wrapped around me, the soft and soothing music in the background.  

I emerged a soft skinned, relaxed and happy me. My synapses were firing with ideas and excitement for my new ventures, I was excited to spend the afternoon with the hubster (a day date which is also part of our relationship self care), and found myself feeling lucky to have such wonderful, interesting, caring and enterprising people in my life.  I was energized. De-stressed. Happy.

Here's what makes the difference between pampering and self care. I am ready to share that feeling with others. My cup is full and I'm ready to pour! 

What it comes down to is that I don't need a special occasion to look and feel beautiful. I don't have to earn the right to take care of me and fill my own cup. I don't have to wait for a birthday or promotion. Every day is the right day to feel great about yourself. 

Find things that make you feel amazing! 

I want to hear some of your self care / self love activities (keep it PG, folks - I hear the 12 year olds in you snickering...), so leave them in the comments!

So many wonderful things happening - and this realization is one of them!  Happy Pampering (wink wink) and congratulations on taking care of YOU!!

Until next time,

<3 Jen

My Whole Life: Do I look the Part?

Is fitting in a necessity?  Does looking the part make a difference?

Hey Friends! I've got some down time and I'm in a different time zone, so I'm not ready to sleep, even though I need to be asleep. Traveling for the 8-5er. 

So, before my trip to Telluride earlier this summer, and frequently since then, I've had this worry:  in my ideal whole life, the person I want to be when I grow up, do I "look the part" ?  Will I ever fit in with the fitness industry folks? 

Many of us have heard the phrase "you don't dress for the job you have, you dress for the job you want."  What does that mean for me? I'm not sure that I necessarily look the part for a life helping others find their healthiest and most fit selves. Hell, I'm still looking for my healthiest and most fit self!  But does my pursuit of that lifestyle and desire to help others find the same require a certain look or uniform? Do I need to look like a Photoshopped motivational poster? Should  some hard core training and uber restrictive diet be in my future? Am I only good enough if I LOOK the PART?

Frankly, in my eyes, the answer SHOULD be a resounding NO.  And yet, I struggle with self image every day. I don't wear shorts in public. I change clothes 5 times before going out. I want to believe all of the motivational stories that I find so inspiring on the Internet. I AM good enough. I don't have to look like a super model to be an amazing and beautiful person on the inside - and out. These things I know logically. I do. I recite them to friends when they have concerns about their weight or fitness regimen. I tell myself daily. 

But what you KNOW and what you FEEL can be very different. And every day is different. Many of you know what I mean. Fat days. Skinny days.  

And that leads me to ask, how can I help people accept who they are if I struggle? And you know what? I think that's what will make me great. Not because misery loves company, but because I know how they feel and continue to work. I have a very different idea of what health and fitness LOOKS like than the main stream media. Most of the people I know don't want to be a size 0 wearing tiny shorts and a sports bra to run on the beach. We want to be able to mow our lawns, help our family members move (wait, does anyone WANT to do that?! ;) ), do some demo work, crush some personal records in the gym, or finally finish that 10k/half marathon/ full marathon. We just want to live our lives without being winded, without worry of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, and other health risks associated with poor diet and exercise habits. We want to be happy and healthy for our kids, grand kids... we want to LIVE LIFE on OUR TERMS.  

And that, my friends, is what I'm good at.  

There is no uniform for success. Only drive and ambition and the desire to succeed.  What makes you feel the meaning of your life? How can you capture that every day?  For me it's spending time with like minded folks, being active, pushing myself physically, and feeling fit, strong and happy. It's my stress relief. It's what makes my crummy body image issues fade. I don't have a super model body, but I can put in the work, go all day, sweat like a pig and feel strong - AMAZING- afterwards. 

And why do I even feel the need to compare myself to super models? We don't live the same life. We don't share the same genetics. And our self worth shouldn't be tied to what an industry (a fickle one at that) deems beautiful. I'm not less intelligent at my current weight that I was 20 lbs lighter. I'm not a better wife, mother or friend when I fit into a size 4 dress. Mirrors and scales have no place on my ladder of success.  

Now, don't get me wrong - there is some extra weight/fat that I would be happy to see go permanently. And as my habits continue to reflect the life I want, I'll continue to see progress in those areas.  But I believe that my love for fitness as a life style and not a single event is what will make me great. Not how I look in a two-piece or whether or not I have a six pack.  My love for motivating people and helping them feel strong and capable is what lifts me up. And UP is where I want to be.

I am ever thankful for opportunities that have been given to me, for the support of family and friends. I'm taking steps to be who I want to be (not that I'm ready to grow up yet, or anything). There's a lot to do, but one step at a time!

With a big birthday coming this year, I finally feel like I am walking the path that is the best version of me. And regardless of fame or fortune, isn't that what we are all looking for?

I'm ready to be a lighthouse. 

"I am a lighthouse. I must care for myself, clean my lenses and glass, maintain a strong structure and light the fire within first, in order to lead others safely to harbor or happiness." - jlm 6/16/15

So, what does it come down to when I wonder if I look the part or not? It's my show, I'm the director, casting agent and star performer.  I'm the only critic that matters. I'm the show and the encore. I'm uniquely me and can never be someone else. And my self worth isn't tied up in my physical appearance. 

Now it's time to hit the sack so I can get up and get my run and workout in before a long conference day, and a sweet hike afterwards at Great Falls National Park.  

More soon, friends!

<3 Jen

My WHOLE Life - How has the view changed?

Views have definitely impacted me this weekend.

Not just in the traditional sense, though I have been overwhelmed with the beauty in Telluride this week. I'm imagining that my life might have different views. That maybe what I have to offer doesn't come from a cube. That the road to finding the meaning and purpose in my life, though winding and shadowy, may be to a place much different than I ever imagined.

I thought for quite some time that being healthy was enough. That being an active person and enjoying the physical benefits of living a fit lifestyle was enough. I thought that I could put up with a job that I don't love or even enjoy.  More and more, I'm finding that living half my life (professionally) just isn't part of my long term plan. 

At Compete (the studio that I'm lucky to teach classes, help with marketing and being part of the Team), Ben teaches the ideals of the Five Pillars of Your Whole Life. It involves finding balance in these areas: Exercise, Nutrition, Rest & Relaxation, Body Maintenance, and Fun. Finding balance in these areas can be a challenge - if you aren't committed and mindful. Once it's part of your lifestyle, it just IS.  But your whole life is MORE than just the physical. The physical body plays an important role in your mental and emotional life, and so beginning my journey there was a very good thing. It has led me to a better understanding of the rest of my life. 

One of the things that has really rung true for me this weekend came during a killer spin class. Our instructor shared a very personal story and followed it with the phrase, "Life is too short to leave your happiness, your passions, caged."  She went on to tell us (right before a killer climb) that our legs, heart and spirits are strong, that nothing can keep us from accomplishing what we have set our minds to. She said "I'm surrounded by powerful and amazing women."

There it is. 

Sure, she was talking about the workout. Or was she? Maybe she connected the physical and the mental/emotional together - mind and body. Sure we are strong enough to complete the climb, but it was our WILL, our attitude, our love for ourselves and appreciation of our body that lead us to this conference, to her class in the first place.

Ever have that thing that you have to be told a hundred times to believe or remember to do it?

Pick up your clothes. Don't forget to roll up your windows. Be sure to save often when working on a big project.  

Some of us have to hear messages the same way. It's the hundredth time (or maybe more) that it finally sinks in. You ARE enough. You ARE talented. You ARE beautiful. You ARE strong. You ARE capable of amazing things. Maybe we didn't hear them as kids, or even as adults. Maybe we hear them, but we aren't listening. Maybe it just took that hundredth time to sink in.  

I'm not saying that I can fully believe all those powerful messages just yet, I still struggle with self doubt daily. But the energy I've experienced this weekend has really helped me to internalize some of those empowering affirmations. I do have something to offer. I AM worthy of success. 

My view on how I want to live, how I care for the relationships I have, my responsibility to be the person that I'm meant to be has changed as of late. I've been able to shake some heavy weights and have the support of my wonderful hubster, family, and a few good friends.  I have renewed energy to learn, improve, and grow. I want to simplify and de-clutter my life.  I'm finally understanding what happiness can look like and it's not a bigger house, fancy clothes, things or job titles.  It's realizing who you are, finding your own happiness and being a positive force in the lives of those you love. 

I'm not hugging trees, chanting with crystals or smoking the happy grass (even though I am currently in Colorado)... I'm just saying that things can be so much simpler than we make them out to be.  Once we start seeing the view we want for our lives a little more clearly. 

I'll have more to share that I've picked up here this weekend, but I'll leave you with this for now...

Life is too short to leave your happiness, your passion, caged up.  Be Brave. Live your whole life.

Until next time, friends...

<3 Jen